tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6323968.post8887137661452862000..comments2024-02-29T21:58:08.162-05:00Comments on Dialogic: Barry Smiler: There's No Such Thing As PolyamoryMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14256564770318269688noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6323968.post-79862188318258261932011-06-16T23:04:13.824-04:002011-06-16T23:04:13.824-04:00I agree we may be talking about a broader philosop...I agree we may be talking about a broader philosophy on society here, but calling Anthony Weiner a misunderstood libertarian rather than a libertine plays into the hands of those who would call him a hypocrite or insensitive. He does whatever he wants without admitting it, so why would he really do what his constituents want? Then people find out he does what he wants, and he still wants to do as he chooses without considering the views of others. He is no longer cheating; he is asserting his non-existent right not to be judged by others in the public arena.<br /><br />If we were living in Polynesia (no pun intended) before Christian missionaries arrived, even with food readily available on trees year round, even without the need to build a secure, warm house, surround it with a fence and dogs and two cars, keep all the inlaws out and the outlaws in, we might be so busy caring for our wives’ children by other men or devoting quality time to our multiple lovers that we would not have any time to question the status quo and assert our individual rights to live as we please. We would follow the Joneses. Yes, polyamory is about one’s beliefs, not about what one does in the bedroom or a biological sexual orientation in some way different from that of other mortals, but it’s fundamentally communitarian. That’s the real reason we have only one partner. Even when living in a coop in college, responsible, respectful people are often too busy studying to share their lives intimately with many friends, and in contemporary America, only the independently wealthy have the emotional capital for multiple rewarding relationships. The discouraged, uncounted unemployed may have the time for this, but not the energy or the attitude to make it work. The anti-sex agenda of the abstinence-only anti-abortion crowd is not a campaign to limit individual rights, it’s a campaign to limit sharing with others and barricade ourselves. In America, it’s fine to devote your life to worshipping an imaginary being rather than getting married and having kids, but if you are a happily single person who wants to teach children the rest of your life, not so you can meet another teacher and settle down, but so you can engage deeply with a number of other people’s children, you are eyed with suspicion. I am not a teacher, but I am so thankful that part of my job involves interviewing members of the public about their experiences, as my friendships have degraded into a series of happy hours and networking events.Claudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18434203618674298399noreply@blogger.com