Why There are No Environmental English Studies Programs?

(trying to stay sane as my state turns republican)

Hi, good to meet you, my perspective is a solipsistic distillation
resulting from my promentalshitbackwashpsychosis, but what the hell I'll
give it a shot and funk them if they can't take a joke.

An Environmental English Studies course is not offered because it is a rarefied product that circulates amongst the heavens and we have yet to find a
super-moonshine machine that can distill its essence to handout to eager
grad students searching for the answers, or a few quick methods, that will
open the gates to academic stardom. Good news though, I'm using my time
wisely here in Lexington, KY searching amongst the Moonshine Clans of the
Alphane Moon for the secret recipe that will allow me to unlock the paradox
of a program centered around the mythical, yet absent EES. So far only manic
giggling whenever I mention my desire for answers ... the whispering behind
my back almost broke my determination but I hung in there until an elderMagi of the Clans began to take pity on this Lost Boy from the Western
Lands. She claimed to have originally come from the City of the Red Night
where they teach their young that one cannnot seek "the" answer, instead
they must explore the "multiplicity" of questions ... it is in the masking
of "possible" questions that the hidden powers rest upon and the prying free
of these nuggets from the earth's moist grasp is the quest of the Clans of
the Alphane Moon.

The ancient Moonshine Magi cackled, swigged from her jug, and said "this is
where the neophytes can get in trouble." In the act of chasing these shy
questions the hunter notices that the landscape often shifts and reshapes
each time a question is conceived. It seems that the Clans learned long
ago that when one unearths a question revealing its essence the disturbance
of the surrounding landscape generally causes an accompanying re-veiling of
surrounding questions. In fact, she warned that eager groups of
diggers, banded together for strength and safety, often bury smaller
groups/individuals digging nearby. This is why a true Digger of the Clans of
the Alphane Moon always stops and retraces their steps reflecting on the
pathway they are traveling and seeking to understand what disturbances their
digging causes. The Magi seemed to derive much amusement from my comment
that the Bushes that cover the Western Lands have long forbidden
self-reflective contemplation in order to freeze traditional concepts and to
fuel the travel back to the future.

I asked the Magi how do the Diggers of the Clan of the Alphane Moon retain
their reflective ability while eagerly unearthing large concepts and
revealing troublesome questions. "How do they dream the impossible and
imagine the unaskable?" The Magi leaned back and swigged from her jug and
chuckled at my Western ignorance. She stared at me like an adder stares down
a mouse,! right between the eyes and dared me to think upon it. After a long
uncomfortable two days I unkinked my frozen limbs. The emptying of my mind
allowed me to recognize that the best way to build a hearty, enrichening
intellectual bouillabaise, is to blend it with (an)other body(ies) of
knowledge. The clans, following the wisdom of the Dispossessed, require all
learners to travel to other realms (physical, spiritual, and mental) in
order to experience different realities and to act as multi-conduit
translators (within and without their clan) of alterity.

Its obvious that the Magi is still toying with me. Perhaps I still must
quest for questions of my own, perhaps I still must travel, perhaps I
should look into the interstices of productive production for missing clues?

I screamed, "Please help me! What is a traveler to do when there is no map
to guide me" ... the Magi just cackles!!! "Foolish Lost Boy of the Western
Lands, when wil! l you learn that the quest is the journey and that as soon as
you pin down an answer, it only means that you have re-veiled other
questions--questions that must then be once again revealed."

Shaking and confused, I picked up a large jug of Alphane moonshine and
stumbled into the forest to look for questions..........

Your fellow traveler,

Michael Benton
Initiate to the Moonshine Clans of the Alphane Moon