Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Why My Comment Moderation Switch Is ON

I recently engaged in a long heated discussion with another blogger on this site. The blogger would post a couple of comments a day (always on the same post) and I, of course, would reply. It soon got ugly because in my discussions (and arguments) I usually like to define what it is I am talking about and make some connections-- I expect the same from those who engage with me at this site--my daily commenter didn't like this and began to criticize me for being 1) a man 2) negative

Let me address each in turn:

1) Yes I do have a penis and I suppose that may (or may not) give me some tendecies, but I reject simplistic deterministic dismissals that I am just a man and part of this grand conspiracy to keep women down (excuse if I am wrong, as a supporter of women's and gender-based social-justice issues, I always thought that we were trying to move past this type of thinking?). My statement to this effect just made my commenter even more mad (not mad in a creative way)/nasty (not nasty in a fun way) because of a need to fit my critique of this commenter into a deterministic dismissal that would allow this commenter to avoid ever addressing the critiques and permit this commenter to climb up on a dais and make pronouncements of my essential unworthiness because I have an outie and not an innie (in case my babbling has caused you to drift, we are not talking about belly buttons here).

2) I stated on this site that I was trying to avoid negative forces (this constant commenter who refused to provide any clarificiations of the positions being professed and dismissing all responses as simply examples of negative masculinity--a good example), not that I am never negative, angry, dark, cynical, mocking, afraid, anxious, etc... just that i was trying to avoid these things. I view the world and all of us in it as engaged in this crazy imporbable absurd dance of life--this causes me to be playful, absurd, questioning (constantly), laughing, and puzzled in order to make sense out of the chaos and to deal with the madness (I don't know about the rest of the world, but Americans who think everything is OK and don't sense the absurdity/chaos make me very, very nervous).

Anyway, the commenter then proceeded to send me emails at my film studies email, my personal email--multiple emails everyday... I will be the first to admit that I soon moved from amused to annoyed to angry--wishing to avoid those negative feelings I blocked the blogger from my emails and set the moderation button on at this site.

I apologize to anyone else this may inconvenience (I always like immediate posting of comments)

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

(tap tap tap) Hey is this thing on???? :-)

I have known you for nigh on to, DAMN,30 years!!! Negative, dark, cynical? You? DAMN STRAIGHT!! Be proud of it, my friend. We did our best to destroy ourselves (and others)in our youth. Screw the other blogger who refuses to engage in any discussion with any hint of honesty. You are correct, Sir, that America is in chaos.

As for the outtie, ummm, yeah we were roommates and I have seen you coming out of the shower....I knew immediately where george Costanza got the term "SHRINKAGE". :-P

PEACE ABBY

Susannity! (Susanne) said...

Doesn't bother me. It's amazing how people feel they have the right to become a stalker just because someone has made themselves 'available' to communication via the web.

Um Abby, we're all hoping those were COLD showers...

Thivai Abhor said...

abby--you know me as well as anyone... so you know I regret a lot of what I did when I was young, but it also made me what I am today... if I would have gone the fast track through honors courses to college (as they had me tracked--instead of dropping out when I was in the tenth grade and living on the streets) to a profitable profession--would I care or be concerned about the social problems we fight for... would it matter to me, or would I be focused on the almighty dollar?

The other blogger is not completely dishonest--I was called out on some things that were true, it just became a case though of us being unable to communicate on even a basic level... my time is tressed as it is and I felt it was best for me (and the other blogger who seemed to become obssessive about it) to disconnect the channels of communication--something I rarely do...

On another note I had no idea you were checking out my dimensions when I was getting out of the shower ... now it all makes sense, you laying in my lap while we watched TV, your judgmental dismissals of any woman I dated, the great homecooked dinners... I'm sorry I had no idea ;)

Thivai Abhor said...

Susannity--yes, stalker is an appropriate term... this is only the second time I have put moderation on, the George Gollin attacks being the other one (see my links).

As for Abby's comment--its a good thing that I am secure in my sexuality ;)

Susannity! (Susanne) said...

"if I would have gone the fast track through honors courses to college (as they had me tracked--instead of dropping out when I was in the tenth grade and living on the streets) to a profitable profession--would I care or be concerned about the social problems we fight for... would it matter to me, or would I be focused on the almighty dollar?"

I know you can do honors/college/profitable career and still be focused on social problems because that is my husband. I do find it can be rarer, but we have met folks just like that. Most of the people we have met from my husband's work world are focused on money "can't have enough zeros" I've heard many times. My biggest 'pet peeve' nowadays because of the neighborhood we moved into is that there is a lot of education and money in this neighborhood, and there is some 'charity', but the INTENTIONS and social understanding are not there. It's a world view that is not thought out, but rather feels like something that has been garnered at cocktail parties. I don't know if I'm explaining it well, it just has saddened me. We're in a great school district, my husband has a 7 minute commute, and we all love our home. But this is the first time my husband and I have ever lived among the highly educated/successful/affluent and I guess I mistakenly had assumed they would be... I don't know... wiser, more appreciative, I don't know, just more of something.

Thivai Abhor said...

Susannity, yes, I wasn't dismissing those that excelled at an early stage in their lives and continued to do so, just wondering if I would have been different without the earlier struggles to overcome--thanks for relating your experiences...

Thivai Abhor said...

I'm still receiving multiple attempts by this blogger to post comments at this site. I purposely refrained from identifying the blogger or giving any clue of who it is--still they feel the need to attack me ... why? what drives this person... move on!

Thivai Abhor said...

now the blogger is threatening to sue me for slander--hmmm... that would be a precedent setting case... slandering someone you don't mention by name and, anyways, who is a fictious pseudonym

good luck and good fortune to you ;)

Susannity! (Susanne) said...

You know Allan over at camelsbackandforth had a similar stalker. This person also threatened to sue, etc. I think they finally backed off. Like my comment on the TV, people just looking for something to get irate about when there are much better places to put your energy...

Thivai Abhor said...

strange idea, to sue over comments made to a pseudonymous identity? crazy world we live in :)