Monday, February 13, 2006

How Single People People Deal With Valentine's Day

(This is intended as the pure literate exercise of adult fantasies--absolutely do not click on this link if sexual language is offensive to you, or, if you are not an adult. I'm serious, I am recently single and I'm attempting to be an enlightened person who doesn't rely on an economy of images (porn)--I reject the idea of businesses supplying our fantasies. I want my mind to eroticize itself, of course, it will probably work through generations of socially interperllated symbolic constructions of sexual relations (for instance my first post)--our minds should be our own and we need to exercise all aspects of imagination. I need to sift what has been programmed into me and to recognize why I think/feel/lust the way I do... will it help? Who knows? But how else can one seperate the sexual fantasies that have been programmed and those that would come naturally?))

Erotic Fantasies (delinked)


I delinked the website I created and removed it from blogger. It was that great romantic holiday, I'm single, being susceptible to the social messages being broadcast all around me, I was wondering how much my sexual fantasies were informed by mediatized constructions of human sexuality. I practiced writing what came to mind and, not suprisingly, it was a blend of hollywood films, penthouse forum letters, and Vallejo pulp novel covers... it was interesting to think about where these images come from and I wrote a bit afterwards--I'm going to think about it more ... but I felt it was something I should remove from circulation.


Ricia said...

a silky breeze on warm day in a place where a little moisture lingers in the air, everywhere you go - can provide a pedestrian an erotic experience.

a quiet lay down in a shallow sun-soaked stream where nothing distracts from the sound of trickling water and rustling leaves, where the sky is a world of everychanging images formed by ambiguous whisps of cloud.. is a sensual experience.

moving to music, not to 'dance' but to move - is an expression of passions.

the exchanges of honest voice in an intriguing discussion - is seductive.

Commercial eroticism has created a world where objects (usually body parts) are sexual, escapism is etherial and is achieved through the CONCEPT of other beings. Whereas, I believe, the erotic is with us as is any other nature of sensation that we have access to (within ourselves) all the time. Engagement and openess to / with the world around us provides this as opposed to escapism, which locks us in and shuts the world out.

I tend to believe the commercial version is more easily or readily adapted to, because we associate that openness with vulnerabilities that 'could' be painful - it's easier to avoid contending with those fears if one can detour to escapism and unreal objectification. And because we are so intellect centric (what can be seen or observed, whether literally or with the inner eye).

But it isn't fully satisfying in as much as it is fleetingly sensational, thus it is addictive. The plight to grasp that fleeting moment.. to reach that high. It has it's place, as one kind of experience I suppose - but I don't think it's what 'is missing' and I'm convinced it isn't what is actually being sought (due to deprivation - not having awareness of that access). What we are capable of experiencing, has been suppressed through the habit's of our 'society'.

The realm of the erotic is only the full allowance of and awareness of all our other senses. This can be shared with others, but it doesn't have to be. The need to share with others, is not necessarily that which is possessed or engendered by the erotic.

... my thoughts on the matter... : )

Thivai Abhor said...


You are a beautiful person and I appreciate your reminder of what is erotic.

We are taught to disengage from the world and you remind me of how much sensuality is lost through the purely sexual fantasies that are imposed upon us ... (I see a need for sexual fantasies, I'm just disturbed by the corporate control of the erotic impulse and wanted to claim my own fantasy)

I don't exactly know why I felt the need to get that one out ;) I was struggling with being alone this corporate love day. Resisting feeling sorry for myself (but obviously doing so) and I guess in my own narcissitic way rejecting the industry that seeks to satisfy sexual fantasies. I just wanted to see what would happen if I let my thoughts go?

Of course it was fleeting, not completely satisfying, as can be see by later posts, I obviously had more on mind?

Once again, thanks, I am moved to reconsider my sense of eroticism (and to ponder its limitations!)

Ricia said...

happy valentines day

: )

Thivai Abhor said...

Thanks Ricia :)

Happy Corporate Sanctioned Love Day!

Anonymous said...

eroticism is what you want it to be...a friendly smile from a passerby.
A stolen glance in an elevator. The smell of perfume on somene that reminds you of a long lost love. Sitting in the park watching an elderly couple hold hands and laughing. The flip of the hair or the sweet laughter you elicit from someone.

What do i find erotic? My wife greeting me at the door asking how my day was....watching her and our daughter become more than mother and daughter but friends. The smile on her face when I do something stupid (needless to say that keeps things VERY erotic around my place). I guess I am lucky in that I find her as desirable now, 18 years and a myriad of issues later as I did when we first met.


Thivai Abhor said...

Thanks Abby!

oso said...

Nothing to add ... but so very well said.

Beheada said...

"(I see a need for sexual fantasies, I'm just disturbed by the corporate control of the erotic impulse and wanted to claim my own fantasy)"

Is fetishism (I believe that's the word) a minority or a rarely spoken majority thought? With that said, all the critical components of fetishism may be influenced by the corporations (hell they may even say this is romantic and this isn't), but what makes the moment is so much more than a few (alright, a boatload) suggestions. It is ultimately what it is, as it happens, thus the difficulty in explaining passion and eroticism is that we may never know what the next moment holds, even if we have a damned good predetermined idea. Perhaps horribly wrong, but...

Food for thought.